Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
