I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Randomize
