new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Randomize
