just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Randomize
