hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
