He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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