Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
