it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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