could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
