I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
porn star boner night. come get it.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
