Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
