Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
