last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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