You can't special order awesome
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
