Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
