How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
