Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
