her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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