Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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