I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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