I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
