I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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