She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Randomize
