Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
