So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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