I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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