96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
