Me too!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
