Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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