There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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