She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
