dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
