got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
try to milk me bitch
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