every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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