singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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