exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
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