so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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