My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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