We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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