Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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