i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
