it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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