she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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