he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
