butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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