I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
