I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
