maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
