I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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