It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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