the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
