he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
