can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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