Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
