I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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