im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
