shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
