The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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